“I’ve made a huge mistake”

How's that for a clickbait title, eh?? Ha

But for real, I've said that exact phrase to myself at some point during pretty much every one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. And not just said it to myself, but really felt it in my bones in an almost sickening way like... I'm in too deep, I'm not good enough to do this, why was I even thinking this was a good idea in the first place??

As we're headed out on this trip together, I just wanted to say that that "huge mistake" feeling we get sometimes in the middle of these experiences is usually a "feature" of a life well-lived, not a "bug." So the feeling's normal, but the way you respond to that feeling makes all the difference.

The truth is in most of these situations that there's no way OUT but THROUGH--when you're on day 3 of an 8 day trip, what choice do you have but to plow on ahead to day 8? If you can get yourself to really accept--maybe even embrace--that fact, the "terrible mistake" feeling becomes sort of a gateway to pass through, and when you let yourself go through that gateway there are some pretty amazing things to discover. On the other side of the scary-seeming gate you might see that: Other people care about you and are more willing to help you than you ever thought. You're more energetic and resourceful than you thought. And all kinds of things that seem bad or inconvenient in the moment turn out the be the most energizing experience of your life.

Basically if you put yourself in weird situations and make it through the gateway of that mistake feeling, you'll end up a bigger person, able to feel more, and connect more with more people, in stranger situations, than ever before.

I mean, some things really just are mistakes. And some things we start out to do with good intentions turn into fiascos, for sure. But I was thinking of a few rules of thumb that have helped me boldly, recklessly strike out into the unknown with the best odds of coming out better on the other side. :)

Here's the advice (for myself) I've come up with:

• Before you embark into the great unknown, take some time to imagine the things you're excited about and want to experience--actually visualize it, dream it, let your imagination run wild with how amazing it could be. Visualizing what you want brightens your outlook and preps your brain to seek the beautiful experiences that may emerge, even and especially the surprising or unsettling ones.

 

• Prepare the very best you can. While you're visualizing all that, use what you're seeing to make detailed preparations. The food, clothes, schedule, people, etc., etc. Make smart, reasonable plans, and then trust yourself, relax, and let yourself be carried along the way.

 

• Hang on for the ride. When the inevitable "huge mistake" feeling arises (or some minor version of it--not everyone is as big of a drama queen as me), congratulate yourself! You put yourself out there, and now you're getting your reward: a truly memorable experience. What else is there worth living for? After you congratulate yourself, you're really living now. But then also maybe share what you're thinking and feeling with someone. Get some help, have a laugh, adjust your plans if you can/want, and keep moving.

  This is such old man/dad advice, but literally everything worth doing has its truly, deeply crazy moments. Learn to see them as the gateway and you'll be amazed how smart and resourceful you are, and how many smart resourceful people you have around you.

I took that picture up top on my last trip to Guatemala. It was an incredibly beautiful moment in the middle of a trip where I didn't know where I was, what I was supposed to be doing, surrounded by an odd mix of people, and a little sick to my stomach. I def had to go through the gateway way of "this is a huge mistake." But then when I did, I found myself immersed in all that green and gold and pink you see in that photo, and I felt amazing. And there were 50 other amazing moments like that over the course of my week of venturing a little *too far out there.

So we'll see you all out there--let the huge mistake begin!